Alright, let’s talk about the great Indian dream—a one-way ticket to a foreign land, a high-paying job, and flex-worthy Instagram stories. But here’s the plot twist: many of these NRIs (Non-Resident Indians) find themselves stuck in a cycle of loneliness, stress, and existential dread. If they’re so unhappy, why don’t they just pack their bags and come home?
Well, my friend, that’s where things get spicy. Let’s break this down, with facts, memes, and brutal honesty.
1. The “Sunk Cost” Dilemma—The Classic “Ab Toh Paisa Lag Gaya Hai” Syndrome
Moving abroad isn’t a cheap affair. Many Indians take massive education loans, spend years struggling with visas, and hustle hard to make it. So even if they’re miserable, the thought of coming back feels like setting fire to everything they’ve built. Psychologists call this the sunk cost fallacy: the more you invest in something, the harder it is to walk away—even if it’s not making you happy.
Fun Fact:
A 2022 study found that 50% of Indian students who move abroad take loans of ₹20-50 lakhs, making the financial pressure real. Returning to India without a “success story” isn’t just disappointing; it’s economically disastrous.
2. The “Log Kya Kahenge” Problem—Society’s Pressure Cooker
If an NRI announces they’re moving back to India, expect an interrogation that feels like a Supreme Court hearing:
- “Arrey, why? Couldn’t you handle it?”
- “Did you get fired? Visa problem? Bad marriage?”
- “We thought you were settled!”
Indian society still equates living abroad with “making it big.” Returning home feels like a public admission of failure—even if the person is absolutely miserable.
Reality Check:
According to the Indian Migration Report 2022, almost 18 million Indians live abroad. Yet, a significant percentage struggle with mental health issues due to cultural isolation, work stress, and lack of emotional support.
3. The “Grass is Greener” Syndrome—Neither Here Nor There
Remember when you couldn’t wait to leave India because of the pollution, bureaucracy, and over-involvement of relatives? Now, living abroad, you realize you miss diwali ki mithai, street food, and family fights over WhatsApp forwards.
But here’s the catch: when you visit India, the traffic, noise, and slow internet remind you why you left in the first place.
This constant back-and-forth creates an identity crisis. You don’t fully belong abroad, but you don’t fit in at home either.
Psychological Insight:
Studies on immigrant mental health reveal that cultural displacement is one of the biggest factors for depression among Indians abroad. They exist in a limbo where they don’t feel fully at home anywhere.
4. The “Golden Handcuffs” Trap—Comfort in Misery
Ever met someone who’s unhappy with their job but stays because “the salary is too good”? That’s golden handcuffs—when your paycheck is so attractive that you tolerate everything else.
Many NRIs stay abroad despite their struggles because they’ve gotten used to a certain lifestyle—high salaries, clean roads, and a strong currency conversion rate. The thought of earning in rupees again? Big yikes.
Example:
An average software engineer in the US earns around $100,000 per year (~₹83 lakhs). Compare that to India, where the same job might pay ₹20-30 lakhs. The financial hit is real, even if happiness is at stake.
5. The Fear of “What Next?”—Uncertainty Paralysis
Returning to India means starting over. Will they find a good job? Will they adjust after years of a different work culture? Will they still relate to old friends?
Fear of uncertainty keeps people trapped in situations they don’t love. It’s easier to stay unhappy in a familiar setting than risk happiness in an unknown one.
The Harsh Truth: What’s the Solution?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people find happiness abroad by building strong communities. Others move back and rediscover joy. The key question is: Are you living life on your terms, or just surviving because you’re afraid to change?
- If you’re abroad and miserable, ask yourself: Is the money worth it?
- If you’re considering returning, ask: Are you ready to navigate India’s chaos again?
- If you’re unsure, ask: What do you truly value—comfort or connection?
At the end of the day, staying or leaving isn’t about the country—it’s about you. So choose your battles wisely, and most importantly, don’t let fear be the one making decisions for you.
What do you think? If you’re living abroad, do you relate to this?
And if you’re in India, do you dream of leaving?
Drop your thoughts below!
Disclaimer:
This essay is not a substitute for therapy, financial planning, or a magical visa sponsorship. If you’re reading this while doomscrolling in a tiny European apartment or contemplating your life choices in a North American snowstorm, just know—you’re not alone.
All opinions are served with a side of humor, but the existential crisis? That’s on the house. If this hits too close to home, take a deep breath, touch some grass (if the rent allows a backyard), and remember—life is temporary, but student loan debt is forever.
